Wishing
by josiemausconn
Summary: Songfic, based on Sugarland's song Wishing. I keep telling myself I'm moving on but I'm stumbling. Believing my heart was strong enough but now I'm wandering. But ever step I take that leads me away, just circles back to your door. I'm wishing I didn't love you anymore. Sorry about the bold, I can't get it off:
1. Wishing

**Sometimes it's a pair of old faded denim I know**

**Is gonna fit me like a friend or some radio song**

**You can't help but sing along**

**Wishing they'd spin it over and over again****  
****Could be the windows down on a Sunday drive**

**Smell of rain on a summer night**

**Anything that brings a little more comfort my way**

**But sometimes there's those times it's gotta be you**

******I keep telling myself I'm moving on but I'm stumbling**

**Believing my heart was strong enough and now I'm wondering**

**But every step I take that leads me away**

**Just circles back to your door**

**Wishing I didn't love you anymore**

******I've tried turning to the arms of someone new**

**But I can't seem to fool this fool**

**I've seen closing times with every bottle dry**

**I've seen days alone in my own room****  
****I'll ask God and magazines**

**Stacks of books and movie screens**

**Anything to bring a little more comfort my way**

**But sometimes there's those times it's gotta be you**

******I keep telling myself I'm moving on but I'm stumbling**

**Believing my heart was strong enough but now I'm wondering**

**'Cause every step I take that leads me away**

**Just circles back to your door **

**Wishing I didn't love you anymore**

**You give me more**

******I've done everything I can to forget**

**If there is a way I ain't found it yet****  
****I keep telling myself I'm moving on believing my heart was strong**

**But every step I take that leads me away**

**Just circles back to your door, wishing I didn't love you**

**What I'd give if I could touch you,**

**Wishing I didn't love you anymore******

-WISHING-

Jenny Shepard sat in her office. The seconds felt like minutes, and the minutes felt like hours. Case file after case file to look through. Nothing was fun anymore. Her life revolved around her job, nothing else. Getting home from work late at night was becoming a regular occurrence. Jenny put her head on her arms and laid them down on the desk. It was hopeless. She had nothing to look forward to when she got home, just a sleepless night and more work in the morning. She used to do things that were enjoyable. Jenny remembered coming home to Noemi's cooking, sharing it occasionally with a friend, or even inviting Ziva over for the evening sometimes. Or the best—going home to take a nice, long, hot bath and relaxing for the rest of the night. She wanted that life back, but she wanted some_one_ back most of all.

It was dark outside and pouring rain. Jenny couldn't see ten feet in front of her on the road. But, almost unconsciously, she took the long way home again. This road let her drive past a certain subordinate of hers, which she looked forward to each day. To the man on the inside of the house, it just looked like another car driving past his house, late at night. But to the woman, it was so much more.

Jenny arrived at her house after her detour and headed straight to her liquor cabinet. She took out a customary bottle of bourbon and poured herself a glass. She drained it in one gulp and refilled it immediately. Jenny never liked drinking alone. It gave her a sense of emptiness that could only be filled by a love, or the rest of the bottle, whichever came first. It was usually the latter. Jenny sat down in a chair in her study and opened up a book. She _usually _liked reading. But the words were swirling on the page today, and just looking at it was making her dizzy. Jenny shut it forcefully and leaned back. She_ wanted _to be able to lean back into the arms of her love, to fall asleep encircled by him. It wasn't going to happen. He had moved on, and she hadn't. Jenny knew it was her fault they ended like they did. It didn't fit in her plan. But now, she would give up everything in her life for the one thing she gave up. Jenny tried to forgive herself and forget about Paris, to forget about the letter. But she knew it wouldn't. She wanted him now, not to be the first female director of an armed federal agency. She wished she didn't love him anymore. She wished that she was able to move on. But she was just wishing…

**A/N: I know this probably isn't the best story, but I thought the song went perfectly with Jibbs. Maybe I'll write a second chapter with Gibbs but maybe not. And I have a new multi-chapter story hopefully coming soon! Hope you liked it though :/ Please read and review.**


	2. When You Were Mine

Words spoken, my heart open,  
No I never had butterflies like that.  
We danced in the moon glow,  
Your hands moved slow,  
You kissed me on the lips,  
Swore I wouldn't look back.  
It was just like we were flying, in another time,

I felt the world was ours for the taking,  
When I fell into your eyes,  
Never a doubt that we would make it if we tried.  
You promised you'd never break my heart,  
Never leave me in the dark,  
Said your love would be for all time,  
But that was back when you were mine  
When you were...

Here, with me, I thought we'd be,  
Stronger than the past,  
Better than the ones before.  
How did I fool myself in thinking,  
We had it all

I felt the world was ours for the taking,  
When I fell into your eyes,  
Never a doubt that we would make it if we tried.  
You promised you'd never break my heart,  
Never leave me in the dark,  
Said your love would be for all time,  
But that was back when you were mine  
When you were...

What if this was it baby  
What if this was our time  
Maybe we're long past saving,  
I'm gonna give you one try,  
You better think twice,  
Before you leave her behind.

And what if the world was ours for the taking  
When I fell into your eyes,  
Never a doubt that we would make it if we tried.  
You promised you'd never break my heart,  
Never leave me in the dark,  
Said your love would be for all time,  
But that was back when you were mine  
When we were in love  
Do you remember that time  
When you were mine

Oooh  
(That was back when you were mine)  
What if this was it baby  
What if this was our time  
(Back when we were in love)  
Back when you were mine  
(That was back when you were mine)  
Back when we were in love,  
In love

You said you'd be there,  
You'd said it'd last forever,  
I guess you've never really meant it baby  
Did you baby?

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Every night, he watched the car drive past. It was the only time he got to see her 'off the job.' It wasn't much, but he looked forward to it. Gibbs always wondered if she knew there was a shorter way to her house, or if she did it just to see him. Either way he loved it. He missed her so much. He missed Paris, when they were in love. Gibbs thought that he had finally found someone that he was ready to spend the rest of his life with, someone that he would marry and be happy with. Truth be told, he had a ring. He was prepared to propose in Paris. But he never got the chance. She promised that she would never break his heart, and he vowed to the same. She left though…leaving him with just a Dear John letter, and a broken heart. Gibbs wondered what he did wrong, why she left. He was still in love with her, his feelings growing stronger by the day. He just hoped and prayed that she felt the same. Gibbs thought that that first time he saw her again, in MTAC, when he found out that she was the director of NCIS, he thought that they could both apologize. And they could become stronger than the past, better than their younger selves. Gibbs was ready to bring the ring out again. But when she said that there wouldn't be any off-the-job, he knew they didn't stand a chance. He always thought, hoped, that maybe Abby would find out about Paris, and that she would try and push them back together. Nothing had happened, and he was still waiting. Then Gibbs thought, why should he have to keep wishing and wondering about her? He dropped the sander in his hand and ran up the wooden stairs. He grabbed a coat and headed out the door. Gibbs decided to give her one more try…

**A/N: Thanks to magiclover13 for the inspiration! There is still one more chapter to come. Hope you liked it, please read and REVIEW!**


	3. We Got Us

Here we are making all our big plans  
Jumping, way into the deep end  
Hey girl why we don't just leave tonight  
Pack it up drive until the road ends  
Feels like this can be the moment  
We've been waiting on all our lives

We know we're ready  
It may sound crazy  
Cause we got no money  
Nothing on our own honey  
Got your daddy all worried  
Cause times are tough  
We got love, baby  
It don't sound like much maybe  
There ain't way that's not enough  
Cause we got us

They say life's not a love song  
I say everybody's all wrong  
So far, forever sounds good to me  
We've got California moonlight  
Enough gas to make it to the sunrise  
And two hearts believing that's all we'd need  
Nothing here's missing this is what I call living

Cause we got no money  
Nothing of our own honey  
Got your daddy all worried  
Cause times are tough  
We got love baby  
It don't sound like much maybe  
There ain't way that's not enough  
We got us

Oh, we've come too far to turn around  
Nothing can stop us, not now  
Someday we're gonna laugh  
At the way things used to be

When we had no money  
Nothing of our own honey  
We had your daddy all worried  
Cause times were tough  
We got love, baby  
It don't sound like much maybe  
There ain't no way that's not enough  
'Cause we got us

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Gibbs took a breath, and stepped out of his car. He had stopped it minutes ago in front of Jenny Shepard's house. He walked up the steps to her front door and knocked…once, twice. Gibbs heard steps inside, descending stairs and the door opened.

"Jethro…" Jenny said, surprised. She was only in a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve T-shirt, but Gibbs was still astounded by her beauty. He noticed that she had no make-up on, and her cheeks were slightly damp. Had she been crying?

"Hey Jen," said Gibbs. Jenny shook her head.

"No, Jethro, you shouldn't be here…." Jenny said, wiping her cheeks quickly with her sleeve. She leaned against the doorframe.

"I need to see you Jen."

"Why?" Jenny snapped, tears pooling at the corner of her eyes again. Gibbs just sighed and placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Jen…are you going to let me in? It's still raining," he asked casually. Jenny shrugged and pulled away from him and the door. He followed her into her study where she poured the two of them a glass of bourbon each. Jenny handed him his glass without making eye contact.

"Jethro,"

"Jen," they said in unison. At that Jenny met his eyes.

"I miss us," Gibbs said simply. Jenny immediately relaxed her body, and Gibbs noticed. He smiled at her.

"I thought I was over you. But then I kept wondering why I couldn't get you off my mind, why everything I thought about led to you," admitted Jenny.

"I kept thinking about Paris. When I had you Jen."

"Guess we're both ready huh?" said Jenny, the corners of her mouth turning up in a sweet smile.

_**WE GOT LOVE, WE GOT US**_

**A/N: Okay maybe still not the best I've ever written, but I liked it! The songs were Wishing by Sugarland, When You Were Mine by Lady Antebellum, and We Got Us by Canaan Smith. Those are my three favorite artists and I really enjoyed writing this, and hopefully you enjoyed reading it, lol. If you have never heard of these songs or the artists, look them up (if you like modernized country) because they are AWESOME Oh and if you have any suggestions I'm open to those too! **


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